The Secret Life of Bella Swan
by ThatPanicGirlE
Summary: Bella Swan moves back to Forks after ending a horrible relationship with her high school sweetheart, Mike Newton. Her return home brings with her frustrations of dealing with small town life, the rumor mill, and most of all her controlling father. What happens when Bella can finally live the life she wanted? AH/AU/OOC BxE


The Secret Life of Bella Swan

ThatPanicgirlE

**Full Summary: Bella Swan moves back to Forks after ending a horrible relationship with her high school sweetheart, Mike Newton. Her return home brings with her frustrations of dealing with small town life, the rumor mill, and most of all her controlling father. What happens when Bella can finally live the life she wanted? AH/AU/OOC, Lemons and jelly filled donuts. **

(Do I wanna know)  
>If this feeling flows both ways?<br>(Sad to see you go)  
>Was sort of hoping that you'd stay<br>(Baby we both know)  
>That the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can't say tomorrow day<p>

_****Bella****_

"Look at them all, Alice. Just look at them," I said, sitting in the uncomfortable chair outside the only decent place to eat in this town. Small towns always had the strangest of people. Most never knew anything outside the town of Forks. I was the talk of the town after moving back from Phoenix.

Alice peered over her sunglasses and sighed. "Just be lucky you've got a place to come back to after the way things ended with your father."

She always had to remind me of that.

I took a sip of my water and thought about the events that took place merely four years ago.

_If you leave this house you're not allowed to come back. _

Those words rang in my ears the moment I had to call my dad and tell him that I needed to come back home. I hated the thought of it but he was very accommodating.

"Marrying Mike Newton was the worst mistake of my life," I said placing my cold glass back on the table.

I spent four years of my life constantly supporting the two of us until one day I'd had enough. I packed my stuff up, and headed back to Forks without a single thought.

"I also tried to tell you that it was a horrible idea," Alice said, placing her napkin on the table as she finished chewing the last bits of her salad. "However, you're going to do what you want to do."

I glared at her for a moment but couldn't get mad at her. Once I had my mind set on something, I did it, regardless of the consequences.

"All I have to say is that I'm glad you're home," she said with such sincerity. I knew she was happy to have me back. Alice and I lost a lot of friends over the years due to growing up but she was the only one who stuck by my side. I did the same for her.

"Well tonight we're celebrating you coming home. Esme and Carlisle are looking forward to you coming over."

I beamed. Esme and Carlisle were Alice's adopted parents. She had two other adopted siblings, Rosalie and Edward. I barely knew Edward because he spent most of my high school years off at boarding school but Rosalie I knew very well. We didn't exactly get along but we tried to make an effort for mine and Alice's friendship.

Nearly four years later, nothing much changed between Alice and her boyfriend Jasper, who moved into town during our sophomore year of high school. When the two of them met it was like watching something out of the movies. Their eyes met and they were inseparable since then. Same when Rosalie met her husband Emmett.

I stood up and placed a twenty on the table. Alice shoved it back into my purse, refusing to let me pay for lunch.

"I've got this. You need to save all your pennies for college," she said.

My latest goal was to start community college in the next town over. It's all I talked about since I came home, especially since I skipped college for married life. Another thing my dad would probably never forgive me for.

"You're right. I can't believe how much books cost," I said, grabbing the twenty dollar bill out of my purse and putting it back into my wallet.

"Just be glad you're not in medical school. Luckily for Jasper he's got scholarships but even with that it's expensive."

Carlisle got Jasper a nice ride at the local college but medical school was a little more tricky.

My keys were stuck in the bottom of my purse as I looked for them and then my phone began vibrating on the side pocket. The worst feeling came over me and I immediately knew who it was.

"You're not going to answer it are you?" she asked.

"Nope. He's going to suffer. I'm tired of dealing with him," I said, finding the key to my car and looping my purse strap around me.

"How long do you think he'll keep up doing it?" she asked.

"Until either I take him back or his parents allow him to move back in."

She shrugged and reached to hug me tight.

"Love you lady," she said pulling away. "See you tonight?"

I nodded.

She walked towards her car and I walked towards mine. After opening my door, I sat down in my car and stared out the front window, not moving, just thinking about how I ended up in this position.

Mike Newton was my world. Everything was wonderful between us while we were in high school. He was one of the popular guys with promises of scholarship. That was until he was busted by my father for drug possession. Instead of my father doing like what most cops had done, which was brush it under the rug, he made sure Mike suffered the consequences.

That was the beginning of the downfall of the relationship with my father. He forbade me from ever having any sort of contact with Mike again. When I graduated from high school, that night Mike asked me to run away with him. The only place we could have gone was to my mom's house in Phoenix. She lived in Florida with her new husband but kept her house in Phoenix.

Everything was fine. I worked as a waitress at a local restaurant while Mike looked for work. For four years. After one dead end job after the next I'd had enough.

I remember the night that I decided it was time to give things up.

Mike came home from a job that he barely had any hours for. His eyes met mine and I immediately knew what he'd done.

"You quit, again," I said. It wasn't a question. It was a fact. It was always the same look he got when he realized he fucked up.

"They were barely giving me any hours anyway," he said pulling his shirt off his head.

The anger inside of me got overshadowed by my sudden realization that none of this would ever change.

I sat down at the kitchen table and thought for an hour while he made claims of looking for work soon and trying harder.

Folding my hands, I let the words flow around me like flies buzzing in my ears. Nothing was making sense anymore.

It was then that I realized that what I needed in my life was someone to take care of me for once. I needed someone who could take over all the things that I'd been pushed into like taking care of bills, making sure we had food, car payments, organizing grocery shopping… these were the things that had become such a burden on me.

I was done.

The next morning I called my dad. I was in tears and I explained that I'd had enough and that I wanted to come home. My sanity was beginning to waiver.

My dad didn't hesitate when he said yes which led me to question whether or not I'd made myself suffer for four years for no reason at all. The day I arrived in Forks, I realized that the answer was yes.

Not once since I'd been home did my dad question me on anything. He helped me find an amazing divorce lawyer and even paid for him. Now it's a matter of letting the court system do their thing while I wait patiently to move on with my life.

I didn't realize how much time had passed since I sat in my car. Turning the ignition, I put my seat belt on, and took a deep sigh. At least tonight would be a fun occasion.

Esme looked beautiful as ever. Nothing had changed at all in the Cullen household. As I walked with Alice and Esme to the kitchen, it felt like I was officially home. I'd spent many weekends inside this kitchen talking with Alice, Esme and Rosalie as we would munch on chips or just share a bottle of juice. Now we share a bottle of wine instead.

As I sat down at the table with Esme and Alice, Rosalie came waltzing through the door more gracefully than a ballet dancer.

I smiled up at her as she came up to me, reaching for me, and hugging me. The look of shock on my face made Alice giggle.

"I'm so sorry to hear about you and Mike. I hope you're okay?" she asked pulling away from me.

I nodded, still in shock. "Yeah, I'm as good as I can be."

Alice laughed as I sat back down.

"So, what have you been up to?" Esme asked me as I took a sip of my wine.

"I'm looking into college for the fall. I've got a lot ahead of me."

She beamed with happiness. "I'm so glad you're going to go. I worried about you for so long. If you need any help with anything, just ask. Carlisle has a lot of pull with the colleges around here."

As much as I appreciated the offer, I wouldn't take her up on it. I hated the idea of having to depend on someone to get me through something I should be capable of doing.

"So is he home yet?" Rosalie asked, rolling her eyes."

Esme's face expression went from sweet to frustrated in two seconds flat.

"Rosalie, he's still your brother, like it or not." Esme's eyes caught Rosalie's and her demeanor changed.

"I'm sorry Esme but he's been very course lately and extremely difficult to deal with," she said, pushing her glass of wine across the table.

Alice nodded in agreement. Apparently there was something I'd missed.

"Wait, is Edward coming home or something?"

Esme nodded.

"Edward is accepting a position at a lawyers office in Seattle in the fall. He's taking a couple of months off to prepare for it. So he's moving back from Chicago. He's supposed to arrive tonight."

Again, I didn't know very much about Edward except in passing. When he was home on the weekends from boarding school, we spoke very little.

This seemed to bother Rosalie a lot.

"I'm sure having all the kids home at once makes you happy," I said to Esme, trying to turn the conversation positive.

She nodded excitedly. "It was so quiet around here for so long. Carlisle and I didn't know what to do with ourselves."

You could tell how much Esme loved her kids, even if they weren't her biological kids.

The conversation turned towards Rosalie and Emmett's anniversary party which was to take place in a couple of weeks. The two of them have been married for five years already. Time seemed to have flown by.

As we sipped our wine and enjoyed our conversation, Carlisle came out of the kitchen to announce that dinner was about ready. He was just about to ask Alice and me to set the table when a familiar face came through the door of the dining room.

"Edward, honey," Esme said as she stood to hug him. He smiled at his mom and then to Alice who also joined to hug him. Carlisle grabbed his hand and hugged him tight in the process. He waved to Rosalie who refused to stand up from the table.

"I'm sure you remember Bella," Alice said pointing towards me.

His face expression changed from warm and welcoming to cold and resistant pretty quickly. He only nodded in my direction and I couldn't fathom what had made him change his demeanor so fast towards me.

For the rest of the night it bugged me. During dinner he barely looked my way. I kept standing to fill everyone's glasses for them. I felt obligated to help since they'd done so much to help me over the years. As I approached Edward's chair, I asked if he'd like more wine.

"No," was the only word he mustered from his rosy lips. He glanced up at me but for only a second before turning his focus away from me once more. I was taken aback by his general attitude but I simply walked way, only nodding in response. He watched me walk to the other side of the table. I could feel his eyes on me the entire time.

As I cleared the table with Alice, I pulled her to the corner of the room and asked her if Edward had something against me.

"Not that I know of, why?" she asked.

"He's acting really odd towards me. It's almost as if he's repulsed by being in the same room as me.

She glanced towards him and he smiled at her. I could see it out of the corner of my eye. However when I looked his way, he immediately turned his head and frowned.

"I don't know," she said. "He seems fine to me."

I gathered the rest of the plates and took them into the kitchen. Carlisle had already gotten most of the dishes into the dishwasher and I placed the rest in while everyone settled into the living room to chat. I rinsed the final dish and placed it in the dishwasher when Edward came in.

"Hand me that bottle of wine," he said pretty sternly. I was taken aback by his lack of kindness in his voice. I reached for the bottle of wine and handed it to him.

He stopped for a second and stared at me for what seemed like an eternity.

"Get me the corkscrew," he said just as harshly as he had done with the wine. So I reached into the drawer and handed him the corkscrew. As I handed it over to him, a sly smile went across his face and he mumbled to himself before walking out of the room.

I stood, absolutely confused and bewildered by the smirk that he displayed in front of me.

After that display in the kitchen, Edward kept staring at me the whole night and I wondered what was in his mind. He treated me with such animosity that I worried he hated me and then the next it was as if he was flirting with me just by his looks.

The evening ended with hugs and I headed home to my small bedroom.

_****Edward****_

_Submissive._

That's the only thing I saw when Bella Swan looked my way. I could sense it from her. The way she allowed herself to be in the background of the conversation, the way she obediently did things without question. It was evident and the moment I saw her I knew immediately that this was either going to end in one of two ways.

I'd have her collared.

Or, she'd tell me to fuck off.

Either way, I needed to know more about her but I didn't want her to notice that I'd taken interest in her. It wasn't until I commanded something of her that I knew how deep it went.

However, I was torn. Could I come out to her with the threat of Alice and my family finding out? Rosalie already found out in the most awkward of ways. Let's just say she learned to knock when visiting me. I begged her and nearly bribed her to never utter a word but to this day our relationship had been strained.

She saw me staring at Bella and it worried me that she'd warn her before I could talk to her.

Approaching this would be the hardest task of my entire life. I knew it was a touchy subject. It's a different matter when you're dealing with someone who understood the kind of lifestyle you lead.

She seemed so innocent and I hated the thought of breaking that.

But I had to have her.

I sat in my room for what seemed like an eternity going over various scenarios and how to approach her with this proposal. My daze was so locked on the tree outside my house that I didn't even notice Rosalie standing in my doorway.

"You'll stay away from her, Edward Cullen. So help me god. You do not need to subject her to this. She's just getting out of a horrible marriage. The last thing she needs is you confusing her."

I could feel my blood pressure rising as I looked her direction.

"Rosalie, what I do in my life is none of your god damn business. If you don't like it, you can go to hell," I said, seething through my words.

"I'll tell her," she said. "I'll tell her what you were doing to that poor girl and she'll never have anything else to do with you."

I stood up, slammed the door behind her, and got in her face.

"How many times do I have to tell you that everything I do is consensual?"

She stared me down. "You can tell me that till you are blue in the face but I will never agree with it."

Rose turned around and walked out, slamming the door behind her.

I ran my hand through my thick auburn hair and tugged a little.

My time was limited. I knew it was only a matter of time before Rosalie found her and told her exactly what she thought of me.

I stared at my car keys. Bella lived at the Chief's house and it wasn't too far away. I kept looking at them and finally said, "fuck it," out loud and grabbed them.

My car was sitting in front of Bella's house within fifteen minutes and it was irrational to think she'd even want to talk to me, especially after the way I treated her at my house but I needed her to know I was okay.

I didn't see Chief Swan's car in the, drive so I grew a pair and went to the door, pacing back and forth in front of the door, I finally rang the doorbell. I grabbed my auburn hair once more, and turned to walk away when the porch light came on and a face appeared at the door.

Bella cracked the door, staring at me for a moment, absolutely confused.

"Edward?" she whispered.

"Hi," I said shyly. It was so unusual of me to be like this but this was a matter that I needed to do handle delicately.

"Is everything okay?" she asked, still with the door only cracked.

"I um… can we talk?" I asked.

She opened the door fully. She was wearing a pair of Hello Kitty pajama bottoms and a tank and Jesus she looked absolutely adorable.

I wanted to fuck her up against the wall… then the couch… then carry her up to her room where I would tie her to the bed…

"Edward…" she asked, looking at me. My mind had wandered. She was opening the door for me and my hormones got the best of me.

"Sorry," I said, scooting by her.

The house was quaint and musty. You could tell it was old, but had a lot of charm.

Bella ushered me to the living room and I took a seat on her couch. She stood in front of me looking down at me, biting her bottom lip and I wanted so badly to be the one biting her lip.

"So what's up?" she asked, sitting next to me.

"Bella, I'm very sorry for the way I behaved tonight. I had my reasons and it is going to be extremely hard for me to explain all this to you."

She took a deep breath. "Well any explanation is better than none. I'm all ears," she said.

I held my breath and then finally came up with some words to say.

"Have you ever had a secret so hard to keep that you're absolutely scared to death that it could destroy not only what you've worked for, but also could ruin your family?"

She glanced up at me and nodded her head yes.

"Well, here's mine," I said, staring at her.

She sighed, prepared for the beans I was about to spill to her.

"Bella… I'm… well… shit this is harder than I thought."

She smiled and said, "Just say it, we'll figure it out after that."

I almost lost it there. It's what I always said to my submissives when they couldn't find the words to say to me.

"Bella, I'm into tying women up and having them cater to my whims." I closed my eyes, and peered open one.

She giggled and then it went from a giggle to a down right belly laugh. She nearly laughed her ass off the couch.

Bella finally composed herself long enough to burst back into laughter.

"What the fuck is so funny?" I asked, absolutely bewildered and confused.

"Oh Edward," she said.

"What?" I asked.

"We really need to talk this out. You'll be pleasantly surprised as to what my secret holds too. It's something that even Alice doesn't know about me."

**A/N: Yes this is a BDSM based fic. And if I get a single message that "this isn't how a BDSM relationship starts…" I will immediately fight you tooth and nail over it. Not all BDSM relationship follow a particular map. Some are learning experiences, some are made with contracts and follow protocol. **

**I look forward to the feedback though.**


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